They Forgot to Come and Get Me
Part two of my unhinged, deranged, and outright worrisome deep dive into 'The Tortured Poets Department.'
Now that you’ve gotten a glimpse into the decade-long history between Taylor Swift and Matty Healy, let’s enter The Tortured Poets Department.
Track One- Fortnight (ft. Post Malone)- In and of itself, this song doesn’t really have any major lyrical clues. Fortnight of course means two weeks in Brit-speak, so it could be a potential reference to their quick (official) relationship. The music video, however, has LOADS. Firstly, it’s in black and white, which is the signature aesthetic of The 1975. Secondly, it features men in lab coats (see below). Thirdly, the long black coats Taylor and Posty wear look eerily similar to one Matty wears in the music video for his “Part of the Band.” The headpieces Taylor and Matty wear in these respective videos also look quite similar.
Track Two- The Tortured Poets Department- Hold on to your hats, readers! We have arrived at our very first inarguably Matty TTPD song. He has a now famous infatuation with typewriters.
“You left your typewriter at my apartment”
One of The 1975’s biggest early hits was a song called “Chocolate.”
“You smoked then ate seven bars of chocolate”
Matty has struggled with addiction issues and has courted many controversies throughout his career.
“you were in self-sabotage mode / throwing spikes down on the road”
But Taylor knows this.
“But I’ve seen this episode and still loved the show”
“I chose this cyclone with you”
Next we get a shoutout to former mutual friend Lucy, aka Lucy Dakus from the band boygenius. whose members Phoebe Bridgers, Lucy Dakus and Julien Baker run in the same circles as Taylor and Matty. Jack, of course, is Antonoff.
“you told Lucy you’d kill yourself if I ever leave / and I had said that to Jack about you so I felt seen”
Next, the line that will haunt me for all of my days:
“at dinner, you take my ring off my middle finger
and put it on the one people put wedding rings on
and that’s the closest I’ve come to my heart exploding”
How dare he?! As we know from folklore, evermore and Midnights, Taylor has long desired marriage and children. Whether or not she was close to both with Joe is arguable, but speculative. But this line makes me believe that once she realized Joe was not The One, she finally gave in to Matty’s decade-long courtship of her. As we’ll see in further TTPD lyrics, it definitely sounds like he made her believe they would be settling down and growing old together. I forgot to mention one little line that thrills me from this song:
“who’s gonna hold you, gonna know you, gonna troll you?”
Troll him she most definitely did.
Track 3- My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys- One of the songs Taylor wrote solo on this album. I really love the Barbie doll theme. Taylor is my favorite Barbie, and it also makes me think we can assume this song was written after Greta’s Barbie movie came out, which would point to July 2023, post-Matty-situationship-breakupship. There are numerous references to Matty in this one, including
“oh here we go again”
“we could’ve played for keeps this time”
And then this iconic Barbie imagery:
“I felt more when we played pretend
than with all the Kens
‘cause he took me out of my box”
I’m not crying, you’re crying.
Track 4- Down Bad- This one has some certified Swiftian lyrical flourishes. I love the theme of being abducted then returned to Earth, and the way the production of the song includes a very UFO-sounding clip.
“down bad crying at the gym”
“teenage petulance”
Iconic. Definitely another Matty song, since she sings of being whisked away briefly.
“I’ll build you a fort on some planet”
Matty has built forts on stage. Skip to 8:00.
Track 5- So Long, London- I’m hoping you’re familiar with Track 5 Swiftian lore, but in case you aren’t: Taylor reserves track 5 slots for the songs she feels express the most vulnerability and pain. It started back on Fearless with “White Horse,” then “Dear John” on Speak Now, “All Too Well” on Red, etc. I’d say she DEFINITELY hit the mark with this one. This one is indisputably about Joe Alwyn, whom we now know she had ups and downs with. The recurring theme of his “blue” feelings appear in every Alwyn era album (beginning with Lover).
“I stopped CPR, it’s no use”
This references her Alwyn breakup anthem, “You’re Losing Me” which turns a dying patient into a metaphor for their relationship.
“I’m pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free”
“You swore that you loved me but where were the clues?
I died on the altar waiting for the proof
you sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days”
No notes, just this:
Track 6- But Daddy I Love Him- I hope you’re ready to be ashamed of me, because this song is, in my humble opinion, THE absolute most insane iconic MASTERPIECE on this album. If I didn’t like any other song (in some alternate universe where I wasn’t the tortured Swiftie you know and love), this one song would convert me. Let’s do a deep dive.
I have never, not once in my life, been a fan of the “bad boy” trope. It’s not something I could comprehend. And while this song does make use of this trope, it’s really about Taylor asserting her independence, taking ownership of her personhood, and telling her critics to let her make her own choices, whether or not they are ‘good’ ones. I personally also love her admonition of so-called Christians who use their religion to judge others (there is a lot of religious imagery on this album). Allow me to set the scene for you.
As soon as news broke that Taylor and Matty were dating, certain so-called ‘Swifties’ immediately took to the internet to chastise our girl. Matty had previously made some controversial comments on a podcast (amidst generally being controversial himself) and some of Taylor’s alleged fans started a petition for her to break up with him, apologize for his comments, and distance herself from him. Some even shared TikTok videos of having their Taylor-themed tattoos removed. Taylor, of course, replied with silence.
“I forget how the West was won
I forget if this was ever fun
I just learned these people only raise you to cage you
Sarahs and Hannahs in their Sunday best
Clutching their pearls, sighing "What a mess"
I just learned these people try and save you cause they hate you
Too high a horse for a simple girl
To rise above it
They slammed the door on my whole world
The one thing I wanted”
I find this particular line devastating. Taylor has been held to impossibly high standards for essentially her entire career. I am compelled to point out that I have never heard any of her male celebrity pop star counterparts held to as high standards as she has been. Female celebrities are expected to be role models to younger fans in a way male celebs just aren’t. Rock stars can smash up hotel rooms, Justin Bieber can act a fool for years with relatively little blowback, Matty himself can perform antics onstage and the crowds go wild. But Taylor, a 34-year-old woman, cannot date whom she chooses because little girls look up to her? It’s unfair and unending. If Matty was offering her marriage and kids, “the one thing I wanted,” no one gets to tell her to ditch him.
“Now I'm runnin' with my dress unbuttoned
Scrеamin', "But, Daddy, I love him
I'm havin' his baby"
No, I'm not, but you should see your faces
I'm tellin' him to floor it through thе fences
No, I'm not coming to my senses
I know he's crazy, but he's the one I want”
Toying with our belief that she may have experienced a miscarriage with Joe is, frankly, iconic.
“Dutiful daughter, all my plans were laid
Tendrils tucked into a woven braid
Growin' up precocious sometimes means
Not growin' up at all
He was chaos, he was revelry
Bedroom eyes like a remedy
Soon enough, the elders had convened
Down at the city hall
The saboteurs protested too much
Lord knows the words we never heard
Just screeching tires and true love”
At this point you should see we’re going to go through this song line-by-line. I’m not sorry, you asked for this. Also: “protested too much”= Shakespeare reference. Taylor and the Bard, a match made in literary heaven.
“I'll tell you something right now
I'd rather burn my whole life down
Than listen to one more second of all this griping and moaning
I'll tell you something about my good name
It's mine alone to disgrace
I don't cater to all these vipers dressed in empath's clothing”
THIS. ENTIRE. VERSE. Being held to an impossibly high standard means everyone thinking you should know better, do better, be flawless. But Taylor is a PERSON, as much as she is also a celebrity. Taylor, the person, would very much like to make her own choices (and deserves to).
“God save the most judgmental creeps
Who say they want what's best for me
Sanctimoniously performing soliloquies I'll never see
Thinking it can change the beat
Of my heart when he touches me
And counteract the chemistry
And undo the destiny
You ain't gotta pray for me
Me and my wild boy
And all this wild joy
If all you want is gray for me
Then it's just white noise
And it's just my choice”
Again, the reference to judgmental fans gets me.
“There's a lot of people in town that I
Bestow upon my fakest smiles
Scandal does funny things to pride
But brings lovers closer
We came back when the heat died down
Went to my parents and they came around
All the wine moms are still holding out
But fuck ‘em, it's over.”
Scandal = Matty’s controversial comments, stage antics, etc.
“Now I'm dancing in my dress in the sun and
Even my daddy just loves him
I'm his lady, and oh my God
You should see your faces
Time, doesn't it give some perspective
No, you can't come to the wedding
I know he's crazy but he's the one I want”
This verse brings me all the way back to “Love Story,” where Tay’s Romeo and Juliet don’t die, but end up happily ever after. Time gave her and Matty perspective. Based on the sheer volume of TikToks I’ve seen this week of fans realizing how much she loved him, I’d say time definitely gave her fans perspective, too.
Track 7- Fresh Out the Slammer- Before even hearing this song, I knew exactly what it referenced. One of Taylor’s literary motifs is referencing her back catalog in new songs, i.e. lyrical callbacks to previous songs. She has done this many times to beautiful effect. (Perhaps my favorite instance is in “Daylight” on Lover, where she sings “I once believed love would be burning red,” a reference to “loving him was red-burning red” from “Red”). On Reputation’s “Ready For It?” Taylor sings “he can be my jailor, Burton to this Taylor.” He being Joe, of course. So when I saw the title of this song, I knew it would in some way reference Joe, as her “jailor,” and her being free of their relationship.
We begin this song with a reference to her and Matty’s longtime flirtation:
“Now pretty baby, I'm running back home to you
Fresh out the slammer, I know who my first call will be to
Fresh out the slammer, oh
Another summer taking cover, rolling thunder
He don't understand me
Splintered back in winter's silent dinners
Bitter, he was with her in dreams”
The “splintered back in winter” makes me believe she and Joe were having issues during the winter of 2022, when Midnights was freshly released. As we know, Matty was working with Taylor and Jack during this time. It would also explain why Joe was never seen at any Eras shows, since they started in the spring of 2023.
“Bright and blue and fights in tunnels
Handcuffed to the spell I was under
For just one hour of sunshine
Years of labor, locks and ceilings
In the shade of how he was feeling
But it's gonna be alright, I did my time”
She’s used “blue” several times to describe Joe’s presumed depression. She even used it on this album already in “So Long, London” where she sings “sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days.”
Here’s where we enter extremely specific Matty territory, and not for the final time on TTPD.
“My friends tried but I wouldn't hear it
Watched me daily disappearing
For just one glimpse of his smile
All those nights you kept me going
Swirled you into all of my poems
Now we're at the starting line, I did my time”
The Starting Line is the name of a band Matty has covered during concerts. Their song “The Best Of Me” is one he covered multiple times on his 2022-2023 tour, including shows during April and May of 2023 before the public knew he and Taylor were dating. This song has lyrics like “you can have the best of me / we got older but we’re still young / we never grew out of this feeling that we won’t give up.”
This next verse is so heartbreaking to me:
“Now pretty baby, I'm runnin’
To the house where you still wait up and that porch light gleams
To the one who says I'm the girl of his American dreams
And no matter what I've done, it wouldn't matter anyway
Ain't no way I'm gonna screw up now that I know what's at stake
Here, at the park where we used to sit on children's swings
Wearing imaginary rings”
If you recall, at her May 5th stop in Nashville, the first city where Matty attended the Eras Tour, Taylor mimicked his dedication of a song to her by mouthing “this is about you, you know who you are, I love you.” She did this during “cardigan.” In “cardigan,” she sings of a former lover coming back to her: “I knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired / And you'd be standin' in my front porch light / And I knew you'd come back to me.” Notice the parallels between the porch light in “cardigan” and “Fresh Out the Slammer.” The line “the girl of his American dreams” also references The 1975’s song “She’s American,” not believed to be written about Taylor but which Matty prefaced with a “she sure is!” during one of his April 2023 shows. Overall, I find this song devastating since she seemed so sure of their future together.
Track 8- Florida!!! - Nothing much to say about this one. Taylor has said on iHeart Radio that this song was inspired by the idea of wanting to flee your identity and by watching Dateline where the criminals flee to Florida. I think what we need to note is that Florence Welch was in the background of that photo Matty’s mom posted of her with Taylor in January 2023. It’s possible that they were all working on TTPD together before Taylor and Matty’s relationship imploded.
Track 9-Guilty as Sin?- Another stunner. Let’s get into it!
“Drowning in the Blue Nile
He sent me 'Downtown Lights'
I hadn't heard it in a while”
The Blue Nile = Matty’s favorite band, as he’s stated many times. Lyrics of “Downtown Lights” include “sometimes I walk away when all I really wanna do is love and hold you right / nobody loves you this way.”
“My boredom's bone deep
This cage was once just fine
Am I allowed to cry?”
This cage = the slammer = her jailor = Joe. Simple Swiftian math.
“Without ever touching his skin
How can I be guilty as sin?”
Proof that she and Matty never consummated their relationship in 2014?
“I keep these longings locked
In lowercase inside a vault”
Okay, conspiracy time, but hear me out. You should know that Taylor refers to her bonus songs on the re-recorded album as “vault” tracks. Could this be a reference to song(s) she and Matty collaborated on for Midnights but that ultimately never came out? Could they have been cut because it would have made their infatuation obvious? Or hurt Joe’s feelings? We’ll likely never know.
“What if I roll the stone away?
They're gonna crucify me anyway
What if the way you hold me
Is actually what's holy?
If long suffering propriety
Is what they want from me
They don't know how you've haunted me
So stunningly
I choose you and me
... Religiously”
More religious imagery from our goddess! I had to look up the stone reference, which according to the Bible is what allowed Christ to be resurrected. Taylor uses a mixed metaphor here, with the stone a reference to a problematic boyfriend, thinking she’ll be crucified no matter what, so she might as well give in. She closes the metaphor with “I choose you and me, religiously.” Here again she references the decade “long suffering” situationship she had with Matty. Tellingly, the line “they don’t know how you’ve haunted me” calls to mind her Speak Now track “Haunted,” which she uncoincidentally sang as one of her surprise songs in Detroit on June 9th, post Matty breakup. It was tragically paired with “I Almost Do” as her second surprise song.
Track 10- Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me- Where. to. begin. This song is an obvious cousin to “mad woman” from folklore. Worth noting is it’s another of the TTPD songs Taylor wrote alone (and one of my personal favorites). This album doesn’t have as many literary references as her previous works, but this song has a general feeling of Boo Radley from To Kill a Mockingbird, as well as literally sounding, to me, like the wolf in Little Red Riding Hood.
“If you wanted me dead, you should've just said
Nothing makes me feel more alive”
Absolutely iconic. As know from Reputation, Taylor relishes a clapback.
“So I leap from the gallows and I levitate down your street
Crash the party like a record scratch as I scream
Who's afraid of little old me?
You should be”
I have to point out the lyrical parallels between this song and “Anti-Hero,” in which she sings she is a “monster on the hill” “slowly lurching toward your favorite city.” Now she’s become a vengeful ghost levitating down the street. I am here for it.
Track 1- I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)- Another obvious Matty song.
“The smoke cloud billows out his mouth
Like a freight train through a small town
The jokes that he told across the bar
Were revolting and far too loud”
Smoke = Matty. The revolting jokes are likely a reference to his controversial podcast statements that resurfaced while they were dating.
“And I could see it from a mile away
A perfect case for my certain skillset
He had a halo of the highest grade
He just hadn't met me yet”
No notes, just a verse I really like.
Track 12- loml- You guessed it: another Matty song.
“Who's gonna stop us from waltzing
Back into rekindled flames?
If we know the steps anyway
We embroidered the memories
Of the time I was away
Stitching, "We were just kids, babe"
I said, "I don't mind, it takes time"
I thought I was better safe than starry-eyed
I felt aglow like this
Never before and never since”
Here we once again get a reference to her and Matty’s previous situationship in 2014. We also have a reference to “the time [she] was away,” meaning the time she was with other guys. I’d also like to direct you to Taylor’s surprise song “Question…?” in Foxborough night 2. Remember she prefaced it by saying she’d never been this happy in all aspects of her life.
“If you know it in one glimpse, it's legendary
You and I go from one kiss to getting married
Still alive, killing time at the cemetery
Never quite buried
In your suit and tie, in the nick of time
You lowdown boy, you stand up guy
Holy Ghost, you told me I'm
The love of your life
You said I'm the love of your life
About a million times”
From one kiss to getting married definitely sounds like the way they each felt about their rekindled relationship. I love the motif of cemeteries and graves throughout this album (“tortured” is in the title, after all). Their flirtation was “never quite buried,” and here is is in his suit and tie:
“Who's gonna tell me the truth
When you blew in with the winds of fate?
And told me I reformed you
When your impressionist paintings of Heaven
Turned out to be fakes
Well, you took me to hell, too
And all at once, the ink bleeds
A con man sells a fool a get-love-quick scheme
But I felt a hole like this
Never before, and ever since”
From the happiest she’s ever been to looking emotional on stage singing “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever” as her surprise song after their breakup. You simply have to see this one.
“You cinephile in black and white
All those plot twists and dynamite
Mr. Steal Your Girl, then make her cry
You said I'm the love of your life”
Almost all of The 1975’s music videos are in black and white, and Matty has worked with legendary directors. He clearly did steal our girl and then most definitely made her cry.
“You talked me under the table
Talking rings and talking cradles
I wish I could un-recall
How we almost had it all
Dancing phantoms on the terrace”
I would like to pull a Clementine and have the lyric “I wish I could un-recall how we almost had it all” completely scrubbed from my brain. And again, here we have the familiar motif of Tay’s desire for marriage and kids, and confirmation that Matty seemingly did lead her to believe he would give her these things. Not since “you know that I’d give you my wild / give you a child” on “peace” from folklore have I been this upset over a woman I have never met’s desire to have children.
“And I'll still see it until I die
You're the loss of my life”
Track 13- I Can Do It With a Broken Heart- I don’t have much to say about this one, really. I think we can read it as a reference to both the Joe and Matty breakups. But if you go down a TikTok wormhole, you can find many videos of her appearing to cry onstage.
Track 14- The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived- Strap in for another wild Matty ride, folks! Personally, I feel comfortable ranking this as one of Taylor’s most lethal diss tracks.
“Was any of it true?
You gazing at me starry eyed
In your Jehovah's Witness suit
Who the fuck was that guy?”
I HAVE to show you this video of him watching her at one of her Nashville shows. He really does gaze at her starry-eyed, and I will never be able to un-see it.
Skip to 1:51 for my Roman Empire.
“And I don't even want you back, I just want to know
If rusting my sparkling summer was the goal?
And I don't miss what we had but could someone give
A message to the smallest man who ever lived”
Rusting her sparking summer = the summer she started the highest-grossing tour of all time.
“I would've died for your sins
Instead I just died inside
And you deserve prison but you won't get time
You'll slide into inboxes and slip through the bars
You crashed my party and your rental car
You said normal girls were ‘boring’
But you were gone by the morning
You kicked out the stage lights
But you're still performing
And in plain sight you hid
But you are what you did
And I'll forget you but I'll never forgive
The smallest man who ever lived”
Lethal lyrics from our girl. The reference to dying for his sins makes me think of two things. 1: the line “all these people think love’s for show, but I would die for you in secret” from folklore (not a Matty reference, just a lyric about loving someone so much she would die for them), and 2: “for your sins” i.e. Matty’s controversies. For full disclosure there’s also a fair bit of blogging going around online that Matty has constantly been called small and short throughout his career.
Track 15- The Alchemy- Phew, deep breath, everyone. We have finally made it to a non-Matty, non-tragic song! It took 47 minutes but we have arrived. This one is a sweet nod to Travis Kelce. Lots of football and high school references, along with my favorite verse:
“These blokes warm the benches
We’ve been on a winning streak
He jokes that it's heroin but this time with an "E"
Cause the sign on your heart said it's still reserved for me
Honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy?”
“Heroin with an ‘e’” has got to be one of my favorite lyrical spins Taylor has written. Matty has been open about his addiction issues and Travis has on more than one occasion publicly espoused that Taylor is an incredible, deservedly successful and hard-working mastermind. Plus, these “blokes” clearly references the four British men she dated directly before Travis.
Track 16- Clara Bow- Another instance of Taylor pulling inspiration from real-life women who have come before her. Clara Bow was a silent film star in the 1920s, and is the woman the term “It girl” was invented for after she starred in a 1927 film called It. Her success ultimately made her a target for vicious press and led to her desertion of the business.
Of course we know who Stevie Nicks is. What you may not know is that she contributed an original poem to the physical copies of The Tortured Poets Department.
Finally, in the last verse, one of my favorite Swiftian motifs: turning the subject of the song into Taylor herself. She has done this before most famously on “The Last Great American Dynasty” from folklore. This song is about Rebekah Harkness, a socialite who married rich and bought a house in Rhode Island. You may remember she “had a marvelous time ruining everything.” In the last verse we learn that “house sat quietly on that beach, free of women with madness, their men and bad habits, until it was bought by me.” Chills.
“You look like Taylor Swift
In this light
We're loving it.
You've got edge she never did
The future's bright...Dazzling.”
Dear Reader, I truly cannot believe you have made it this far. Stay tuned for Part Three, the future is dazzling.
